How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
