Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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