Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
