..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
