If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You need Xanax blowdarts
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
