thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
