idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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