U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
