we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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