it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
