it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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