oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
