He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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