I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize