I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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