The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize