Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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