whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
