Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
