Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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