we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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