I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
