i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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