You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
