first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
