Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize