God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
