An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
