I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
