Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
