i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize