Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
