I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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