She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
