it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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