just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
