Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2003) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits

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  (843): fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits http://tfl.nu/ms1d
  Replies (16) Good night (6998) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

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  (646): vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic http://tfl.nu/5kjv
  Replies (41) Good night (4235) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.

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  (619): His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini. http://tfl.nu/6erh
  Replies (9) Good night (4479) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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  (412): At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well http://tfl.nu/es2k
  Replies (7) Good night (3855) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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  (469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a
  Replies (9) Good night (4278) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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  (972): Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy http://tfl.nu/ylro
  Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (2786) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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  (602): just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober http://tfl.nu/68n1
  Replies (10) Good night (2986) Bad night (932)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?

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  (708): I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer? http://tfl.nu/8pri
  Replies (9) Good night (794) Bad night (1816) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

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  (251): When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail? http://tfl.nu/evev
  Replies (7) Good night (2688) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..

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  (609): i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you.. http://tfl.nu/9nik
  Replies (11) Good night (1545) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.

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  (570): He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall. http://tfl.nu/bycp
  Replies (17) Good night (1498) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.

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  (405): Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable. http://tfl.nu/luso
  Replies (16) Good night (950) Bad night (2106)
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  (805): View more from California

  we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard

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  (805): we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard http://tfl.nu/fmkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1666) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.

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  (301): If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/gi9x
  Replies (14) Good night (785) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt

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