There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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