In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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