No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
