sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize