i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
