a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hippo gnu deer
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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