watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This gyro tastes like lonliness
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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