Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
