Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
