That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Welp...herpes.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
