She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
