currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i out mim tonsoeep
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