Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
