We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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