I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
