i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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